Conviction

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Stepping out in obedience, unaware of the winding road set before us, a friend continues to repeat, “where we are going, He has already been.”
A group of us have continued to meet since early March to pray over the implementation of Community Bible Study in our Chester, VA area.  Little did I know that this journey involved spring cleaning of my spiritual condition.
I have been deeply convicted.  The Lord has been using this time (birthing of a Chester CBS) to force me to look in the mirror and see the decaying condition of my heart.  I have been on my knees begging God to move in our community and to meet our needs for birthing and building this ministry in our Chester community. 
I have prayed without faith. 
I have been complaining to Him about the apathy I have encountered in people willing to invest into the next generation. 
I have been apathetic about investing my time, resources and ultimately Jesus into the next generation.  
I have been frustrated that God has called me to help spear head a ministry that will not be small and entail many details unlike anything I have seen with my own eyes. 
He has reprimanded me to be grateful that I even have the opportunity to serve Him openly (many places in the world women don’t have these opportunities) and that He has chosen me to be an integral part of what He is doing in the here and now.  I am blessed to be called to this and He expects me to invest my talents into His kingdom until He returns and not to hide those talents out of fear and laziness.
Throughout the course of this journey, I have been listening to a song by Addison Road entitled “What do I know of Holy” and was heartbroken by the piercing conviction of each word.  You can listen to the song here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xS-bRarAZ2g
I share on my blog openly not because I enjoy hanging my dirty laundry out for all to see, mock and gossip over, but to encourage each of you.  He is asking each of us not for our ability, but for our availability.  Although each of us may be endeavoring to reach our communities in unique ways He has lain upon our hearts, I am beginning to realize that it may be more about Jesus Christ calling my name and perhaps yours to grow up in our maturation of Him.  We may see the venture before us to about our communities, but He sees these opportunities to be about my heart condition and yours.  Embrace the opportunity before you to draw near to Him, listen for His voice, see His word come alive, and allow Him to awaken your soul to want so much more from your walk with Him.
My dear blog readers,  I am praying for each of you in your weaknesses, your doubts and your fears, even as I face my own.