I sat under the shade of the canopy, feet dug into the sand and watched my boys play in the ocean with their second cousins. It wasn’t long before I peered over my sunglasses to see my oldest boy, climbing on the shoulders, of his muscular, adult cousin. Moments later, he jumped off Nic’s shoulders and into the ocean. Caden is my cautious child. I was surprised to see him effortlessly engage an activity that I knew inwardly, frightened him. I voiced to my mom, who was sitting next to me, “Look at Caden. That is unlike his nature. Yet, I know he is drawn to Nic and that he instinctively trusts him. That must be why he doesn’t seem to be phased by the climb or the plunge.”
Earlier that afternoon, I had been reading over the details of an assignment given to me. I knew it was a God-ordained task, but reading over the details and deadlines, my heart beat quickened and an emptiness hollowed my stomach. What had I said, “Yes,” too? I was under-qualified. To distract my thoughts from turning more inward, than upward, I picked up a book I had been reading. I had a handful of pages left. On the last page, Brad Lomenick writes, “When the time comes to take a risk or make a difficult decision, push through the fear. He’ll sustain you.”
Watching Caden engage in activity contrary to his nature, because he trusted the one sustaining him, was the necessary visual the Lord was gifting to me. I don’t have to feel confident in the obligation or my abilities, I simply have to place my confidence in the Lord who had allocated me the project.
Last night, I stayed awake pouring over the details of my assignment. Processing, highlighting, writing notes in the margin and researching resources. All the while, this lyric from a Toby Mac song, repeatedly rang in my ears, “It’s way beyond me.”
Before falling asleep, I looked up the full lyrics to the song, “Beyond Me.” This stanza reminded me of His call on my life as a believer, “In over my head keeps me countin’ on You. I’m leaving the sweet spot, sure shot. Tradin’ it all for the plans You got. It’s crazy to believe. You take me to the place where I know I need you. Straight to the depths that I can’t handle on my own. And Lord I know, I know I need You. So take me to Your great… Take me to your great unknown.”
I know, He just often needs to remind me that I know. He hasn’t called me as His child to remain in my comfort zone. Loitering in my comfort zone, doesn’t produce growth and it keeps me operating in fear, instead of faith. Multiple times in Scripture, He tells His children to “go” and it isn’t until they “go” that He gives them further instruction. He beckoned many from Scripture to walk by faith, not by a map; He beckons me to walk by faith, not by a map. He may not reveal to me the how, when, or why, but He does promise over and again in His Word, that He will not leave me or forsake me. What other guarantee do I need?